Saturday, December 10, 2005

bob bob bobbins

When you’ve got kids, you can:

· Gather up your scrap pieces of Fimo™, stick them in a plastic bag, and keep them in your back pocket, squished against your bum, until they soften.

· Spend half an hour of therapeutic venting punching, pummelling, plaiting and pleading with the scraps to mix, until you get brown. Crap brown.

· Holler the kids, and with them rip the brown lump into thirteen smaller lumps, punch and pummel it some more, add little red, white, black and gold Fimo™ dabs to the brown, in approximately biologically appropriate places, and stab each through the head twice, with a pin.



· Cook them, string them up, and post them off to relatives who are contractually obligated to go oo and ah




· Give crap.





I’d like to assure anyone who might be concerned, that our robins will not be homed separately. They will travel to their new trees in groups of at least two, usually three. Robins being aggressively territorial, so this should be a laugh. Thirteen Fimo™ robins were pummelled, stretched, mangled, squeezed, rolled, pulled, poked with holes, baked, and strung up for the making of this seasonal art project.


Things To Do

Cake: Soak fruit in booze; chuck all the stuff together and cook; voodoo with more booze; marzipan; ice; eat.
Pressies: buy; wrap; distribute (wearing stiff gauntlet to save fingers). addendum: forget to give Suffolk ones to mum when she visits.
Pressies from kids: buy; make; wrap; post / give out.
Cards: buy / make; give out / post.
Decorations: consider putting up; put up; take down.
Christmas dinner: yeah, right.
Booze: buy; drink; buy; drink; be bought; drink; buy; drink; buy; drink; scrounge; drink; drink; drink; drink; buy; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink; drink (list in progress).

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